I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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