I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
