STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
