in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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