I need help removing her.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
