It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
last night I used snow as a chaser
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
