C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
