O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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