There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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