I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I am available for nakedness
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
