Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
