Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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