You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
