You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dicks are not precious.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize