please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
