I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
