Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
