I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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