im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
