You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
