her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
