He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
