My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
