So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
