Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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