STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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