Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
