Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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