I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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