Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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