Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
