dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
