Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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