The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
