even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
