we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
