I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
