New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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