I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
