so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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