ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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