We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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