We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i now understand why vodka
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
