If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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