it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
