our cab driver is having phone sex.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
