I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
