there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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