Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
sex in a hospital.. check
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
