Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
