I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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