Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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