so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
