Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
