Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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