I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize