dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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