I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
