LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize