Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
