she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
