You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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