help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
