I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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