He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
